On/Off - Some new pirate poetry

Well as some of my followers might know I have recently joined the masses of mentally plagued and medicated little girls. Therefore I have not been capable of reading or writing much as of late. Don't feel sad however, I'm still here and today I have a delectable little treat for all of you. It is a brand spanking new poem I have written that I hope you will enjoy. Three guesses what it's about? Seriously what do you think is the intent behind my words?

Leave your cleverly crafted theories in the comment section!


On/Off

I can be charming like Cleopatra
brave like Joan of Arc
passionate like Marie Curie
and my smile can break your heart

And as if that was not enough
there are a million things you
still don't know about me..yes
I'm a tasty little cream puff
made up of all the right stuff

I can be artistic like Marie Antoinette
free like Amelia Earhart
dedicated like Florence Nightingale
my personality is state of the art

Oh, and did I mention my
consuming mental illness?
I'm sorry dear was that too much
forget my indiscretion we wouldn't
want you to get the wrong impression...

(c) Anita K. Olsen Stoebakk

Cheers mateys,
Anita, the literary pirate.

Boneshaker by Cherie Priest - Book review

I wasn't really sure if I would like Boneshaker when I first started the book. I had never read anything by Cherie Priest before and I had not read a proper Steampunk novel before either (even though I love Steampunk in general). I'm usually more into classic epic fantasy writers like David Eddings, Terry Brooks and Raymond E. Feist. I very often have a problem with more modern authors, what can I say, I'm an old fashioned gal...well, sort of.

So with a skeptical mind I delved into the story of Briar Wilkes and her son Zeke and was pleasantly surprised. The concept of the blight gas-affected and walled in town of Seattle sets a grim and exciting backdrop for the adventure. Briar lives a hard life hardly getting by with the money she earns from her job.
 Her deceased husband  Leviticus Blue was responsible for unleashing the blight gas that has turned Seattle into a ghost town filled with shambling undead things. Her son keeps asking questions about his father and his grandfather and Briar doesn''t know how to handle it. When Zeke heads into Seattle to find answers to his questions Briar has no choice but to follow him in there on a mad dash quest to get him back.

After reading this book I found that Priest has written characters that I actually care about (This is one of my Litmus tests, if I don't care about the characters it's not a good book). I found myself nervously reading on at times just to make sure that the characters survived whenever they were in danger. At some points I thought I could predict the next twist in the story, but most of the time I was actually surprised about where things ended up. I realize that Priest has taken some liberties with historical facts in this book, but the world feels very real and believable to me, and the people that inhabit it are complex and flawed, just the way I like it!
The language of the book is very good and the dialogs between the characters doesn't seem artificial and bland like they sometimes do in fiction.

Bottom line, I would highly recommend this book if you're into Steampunk, dysfunctional relationships and Zombie afflictions!
I'm definitely going to read the rest of the series at some point, when I have cleared a few more titles of my reading list. So many books, so little time you know.

(c) Anita K. Olsen Støbakk

In bed with a higlander by Maya Banks - Book review

Last year I joined the Vaginal Fantasy Book club, which is a book club hosted by Felicia Day, Veronica Belmont, Bonnie Burton and Kiala Kazebee. It is a book club that focuses on reading fantasy and Sci-Fi books with smutty bits in them like sex and romance. I joined it because I felt like I needed to broaden my horizon and by Davy Jones' Locker I have.

So if you were wondering, yes, "In bed with a higlander" is what I like to call housewife's porn. It is a book with loads of sex and glistening muscles and throbbing limbs...you get my drift. Usually this isn't my cup of tea or bottle of rum for that matter, though I do like a little romance mixed in with my fantasy now and then and some sex, yes sex too. The thing is I don't like it when sex and romance becomes the main plot. It's not interesting to me, I crave more content than that.

There were a lot of "smutty" bits in this book, which is one of the reasons why I started reading it
The sex was quite detailed, but not to the point where I felt it was too much information. The main character Mairin was entertaining at first, but quickly became an element of irritation. I couldn't relate to her as a real person. She had an annoying habit of speaking her thoughts out loud without even noticing it. I kept wondering if she was constantly drunk or something, since the only people I have ever met who are able to speak their thoughts without realizing it have been drunk to some extent.
She didn't seem to be properly traumatized by any of the horrible things going on around her either, and apparently if you kiss her she loses all notion of personal principles and control which is not consistent with someone who has been brought u in a frickin' convent!
The overall story was really easy to predict and I felt like parts of the book were very lack-luster. I wanted more detailing of the era, the environment and the characters populating it. Beyond the main characters I wasn't able to form much of an opinion about any of the other characters.

Towards the end of the story there is a build up of tension, Mairin is stolen away from her husband by the main bad guy and something heroic needs to be done. I kept waiting for things to properly explode, for some real excitement, but it just got glossed over like the author was in a hurry or had to keep a word count or something (one more chapter wouldn't have killed me). The whole thing just ended up feeling anticlimactic, like I got riled up over nothing.

Oh yes on a final note, be prepared to read the word "lass" a lot..That word really pissed me of by the end of this book.

I personally prefer a nice blend of a well made plot and a bit of smut, and this book just didn't have that. I wouldn't really recommend the book, but if you like historical fantasy and romance and you aren't looking for something serious or historically correct maybe you would like this..

If I had a beard I would be tearing it out by now...

(c) Anita K. Olsen Støbakk

Cheers Mateys!
Anita, the literary pirate.

The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien - Book Review

I read this book in January this year, well actually I re-read it. I read it for the first time about 10 or 12 years ago I think. It was during my obsession with Lord of the Rings and anything Tolkien. The reason why I chose to read it again is as follows:

I went to see the Hobbit at one of my local cinemas a week or two after it's opening date with my husband. (I don't like pushy crowds, so I rarely attend premieres unless I'm dying to see a movie). Point and case being that I didn't quite agree with it. I had some trouble remembering a lot of the details from the story so it was difficult to judge the contents of the movie, but I remembered enough to feel almost a little offended at all the extra stuff they had jammed into the the movie (Radagast and his ridiculous bunny sleigh being one of those things). It made me feel like I had to read the book again to make sure that I wasn't getting worked up over nothing.

The Sword and Laser Book Club that I am a member of was also having the Hobbit as their book pick for January 2013 so I figured I might as well read it and satisfy my own curiosity while fulfilling my pledge to read 30 books or more this year. So I did, and this is my verdict!

It's the hobbit...It's a classic, badmouthing it feels a bit like swearing in church (if I went to church that is).
I have to admit that The Hobbit is not the most riveting book I have ever read, I find it to be quite charming at times but it was harder to get through it than it was to get through the Lord of The Rings even though The Hobbit is a tiny book.

Tolkien always brings forth nostalgia in me, his books remind me of my childhood and magic and discovery.
I remember really liking the Hobbit when I read it the first time, but now I feel like the descriptions are a bit vague, and I fail to become emotionally invested with the characters (usually that is not a problem for me). Gandalf is portrayed as quite the jerk, and the elves seem silly to me. It might be because this was meant to be a children's book or maybe I have just outgrown it. Still there is something else nagging at me. It just does not seem to fit with the rest of his universe that is represented in Silmarillion or LotR. However I won't linger over my own feelings of slight disappointment, and get down to the story itself.

The story of the Hobbit is widely known so I won't have to tell most of you what it is all about. The dwarves need a master burglar to help them on their journey to the Lonely Mountain to take back their home from Smaug the dragon. Gandalf convinces them that Bilbo is the Hobbit for the job even though Bilbo himself does not want to be part of this adventure at all. In the end he joins them and they travel to Rivendell to see the elves, they encounter Goblins and Hobgoblins and eagles and trolls and a shape shifting man called Beorn before they even get to lonely mountain. When they finally reach Lonely mountain they have no idea of how to deal with Smaug, but as he leaves the mountain one day the problem is solved for them as Smaug is killed by a man from a nearby village he chose to attack. Fter that a great battle is fought at the Lonely mountain as the villagers blame the dwarves for having driven Smaug from the mountain. They are also joined by elves from Fangorn forest if memory serves me right. Let's just say that drama and bloodshed ensues.

The story itself is interesting and a lot happens over the span of few pages which gives the book a good pace. It keeps you entertained and keeps you reading on. In a sense it is a truly epic story about an unlikely hero, which is one of the things I really love about the book. Being an underdog myself I have always cheered for the unlikely hero or the anti-hero. Bilbo was also the only character I even remotely liked this time around.

Sometimes I felt like the story was a bit rushed and that Tolkien could have taken more time to describe events or people more specifically. I just kept feeling like something was missing, I can't really put my finger on it. Maybe my view of the book has been muddled by the movie. There were just so many things I disliked about the movie that I kept analyzing the differences and looking for flaws in the two storylines. Maybe this book is meant to be read in a less aggressive and more laid back manner?

All in all the judgment is that the Literary Pirate is slightly torn, confused and stumped. I like the book, and I don't like it. I have fond memories smudged by present resentment.....hmmm tough one...Any opinions from you scallywags out there?

(c) Anita Olsen Støbakk

Cheers Mateys,

Anita, the literary pirate

The Confidante by Hélène Grémillon

This was one of the first books I read this year, I ventured outside my Fantasy bubble in the hopes that I would stumble upon something good. My aunt had gotten some freebies from a friend and gave one of those books to me. That book was "The Confidante". It was not a big book, and seemed easy enough to get through so I gave it a shot. The beginning was intriguing so I kept reading and it was all downhill from there for me...There are no spoilers in this review btw, so it should be very safe to read!

I just could not bring myself to like this book.

Yes, the way the author had handled the different points of view were decent

Yes, the historical events were quite accurate.

Yes, the plot seemed interesting.


Here is where it all fell apart:
The language was messy, and whenever there was a change of POV it was often unclear to me which of the characters were actually narrating. It might be that the translated Norwegian version of the book was poor and had a hand in messing up the language, but I can't say for sure. It ruined the flow of the story for me at least. Grammatical errors or poorly built text is one of my major pet peeves. I hate it and if there is too much of it in a book I loose interest fairly quickly (although I can never bring myself to abandon a book, leaving it unfinished, or "Lemming it" as I fancy saying).

Worst however was the infinite stupidity of the characters in the book. There was such a total lack of communication and honesty between all of them on every possible level that I kept wanting to scream at them and toss the book away. Maybe there are people who are so dysfunctional out there that they are unable to properly communicate with anybody, but for all of the characters in the entire book to lack that exact same ability seems idiotic to me.
No one seems capable of telling the truth until after they are dead or before it's too late.

It simply annoyed me to no end.

Basically I can't recommend reading this book as it was awful. This of course is simply my opinion and I am not an oracle and do not claim to be an all knowing book goddess so you are free to make up your own mind.

The book pirate has made this book walk the plank and has banished it to Davy Jones' Book locker of watery doom!

(c) Anita Olsen Støbakk

Cheers Matey!
Anita, the literary book pirate.