A Hitchikers guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - Book Review

I have been a fan of the whole hitchiker franchise for quite some time, I've watched the episodes from the old television show and also the rebooted movie version. I just find the whimsicalness of it all endlessly amusing. I had not however read any of the books, until now that is!

I figured I had to start at some point and since this year is my official reading year now was as good a time as any. I decided to read the first book "A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and then see how I liked it before purchasing all the other books as well. I was not disappointed I can say as much already. As always the book is better than the film. Although I have to say that the TV - show and the movie is quite charming you feel even closer to poor Arthur Dent as he is tossed around the universe against his will when you read the book.

Most of you probably know thew story of the book already or at least the basic concept so I won't bother lecturing you on it, because honestly I don't think any rendition of the book that I give you will be even remotely close to being as funny as Douglas Adams himself. I often found myself giggling out loud whilst reading this book, and had to read certain sections of it out loud to my husband so he would understand why I was giggling like a maniac next to him in bed. He thought it was funny but not as hilarious as I did. Now quite often I find this to be the case when it comes my sense of humor and that of my husband. He quite stubbornly insists that I am qoute:

A bloody hippie living inside her own bubbleworld filled with unicorns and flowers and peace on earth.

From this you can pretty much derive that I am a bit naive and childish at heart. Maybe that is why the quirkiness of Douglas Adams appeals to me so much. I still have that sense of wonder every now and then, and I also love funny words, puns and sarcasm, and Hitchikers Guide is full of it. Which I am sure other connoisseurs of the works of Mr. Adams will attest to. My husband on the other hand is a pragmatic and slightly cynical soul and therefore I don't think he was able to feel as entertained by the book as I was. He did enjoy it though, don't get me wrong. I am simply stating that I think this book is best suited for those who are still a bit childish at heart like I am. It's just a theory though, I might be wrong.

Anyway getting on to the point. I loved loved loved the book, it was so much fun to read and it didn't take long at all (it's not a very long book either really). I would definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoys sarcasm, puns, funny words, absurdity in abundance and a general randomness. It's a true delight.

(c) Anita K. Olsen Støbakk

Remember your towels!

Cheers Mateys,
Anita, the literary pirate

Dripping, drowning - Original poem and illustration

After writing Sanatorium of the dead I didn't quite feel finished with the whole blood and gore scenario, I'm in a grim mood these days. I don't mind  though because at least it makes me creative. I have no idea why that is, but there it is...could I be more of an artistic cliché?

Anyway I made a bloody/vampire illustration inspired by "Sanatorium of the dead", and the illustration in turn inspired me to write a poem. Don't you just love that artistic snowball effect when one piece of art inspires another? I know I do!

So here it is, the poem and the illustration!

N.B.
I do have to mention that most of my poems are not autobiographical, they are more like short stories, really short flash fiction if you will, or musical songs.

Words and artwork (c) Anita K. Olsen Støbakk

Dripping, Drowning

My lips they drip,but is it bile or is it blood?

I cannot close them
cannot stop the flood.
I'm spilling over on the floor

there are pools at my feet

does my body truly contain more?

I'm drowning in myself

drowning in myself

My heart still beats,

every beat is one step closer to killing me!

I want to stop it
want the gods to hear my plea.

but it's too late to ask for salvation

I'm a lost and wayward girl,

the architect of my own damnation

I'm loosing against myself

loosing against myself

I need help

help...

Cheers Mateys!

Anita, the literary pirate

The Pirate Princess and the Mysterious Map - The Audio version

This is the podcasted version of my quirky little children's story for all of you out there who prefer listening to books and stories ;)

Enjoy!


Podcast Powered By Podbean

If you're having problems playing the audio here you can also listen to it on my podcast channel at podbean.com: http://theliterarypirate.podbean.com/2013/05/31/the-pirate-princess-and-the-mysterious-map/

You can also read the story for yourself Here!

Cheers Mateys!
Anita, the literary Pirate

The Pirate Princess and the Mysterious Map - A children's story

The Pirate Princess and the Mysterious Map

by Anita K. Olsen Støbakk
You can listen to the audio version here!

The pirate princess also known as Abigail to people who care about names sails the seven seas with her trusty crew and her faithful friend Captain Crow. They sail on a ship called the "Jolly Robber" and have exciting adventures all over the world. The pirate princess is a tough little thing with flaming red hair and a shiny saber. she uses it to defeat evil monsters and cut tough pieces of cheese with. Captain Crow is a bird of quality and he lost one of his legs in a very unfortunate incident with an angry crab. He doesn't mind the loss of the leg much. Who needs legs when you can fly?

One day the pirate princess was standing on the deck of her ship looking through her spyglass searching the horizon for whatever it is pirates look for when they are looking through spyglasses, when she suddenly spotted something floating in the water. It was a message in a bottle! She commanded her first mate to steer the ship towards the floating mystery and quickly went to retrieve her fishing rod. She threw out the fishing line with expert technique and managed to fish the bottle out of the water with little effort. She yanked the cork of the bottle as soon as it landed in her hands and shook out the piece of paper that lay inside it.

"Shiver me timbers, It's a treasure map!" She exclaimed.
The paper showed a cartograph of an island with a big cave and a big red "X" marking the spot where the treasure was supposedly buried. Abigail and Captain Crow looked at each other and knew they were thinking the same thing. "We're going treasure hunting mateys, all hands on deck!" they shouted in unison.

They sailed for days through sunshine and storms before finally reaching the island that was pictured on the map. Captain Crow had become quite sea sick during the journey and was terribly relieved to see land again. The island itself was surrounded by jagged rocks and reefs, and the cave where the treasure could be found gaped into the water and was shaped kind of like the jaws of a shark. If you squinted a bit and tilted your head to the left. They couldn't sail the ship in to shore because it would be smashed into pieces on the sharp rocks. So the pirate princess and Captain Crow took a little dinghy and rowed it to shore. The rest of the crew stayed aboard The Jolly Robber to protect the ship. Well that's what they said, but the princess and Captain Crow had the feeling that they were just too scared to enter the dark cave. "We'll show them" she muttered to the crow.

They tied the dinghy to a rock outside the cave, lit a lantern and began to explore it. They had ventured quite a bit into the cave when they suddenly heard some very strange noises. They heard sloshing, wet sounds coupled together clinking and clanging and slithering. They followed a wide snaking tunnel trying to figure out where the noises were coming from and as they rounded a corner they could see a flickering light at the end of it. The pirate princess and Captain Crow looked at each other with nervous glances. What if there was a dangerous hideous monster at the end of the tunnel? The pirate princess was getting quite scared and it felt like ice cubes were dancing a rambunctious tango down her spine. She almost turned to run away, but changed her mind. She was the pirate princess after all, nothing was going to scare her, especially not when treasure was involved! She drew her saber and stormed into the light. Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw next! 

 

A giant squid was in the middle of pouring himself a cup of tea and in front of him there was small dainty table covered with a frilly pink table cloth. On it she could see a delicate assortment of cakes and biscuits and tea cups. The princess was stunned and speechless, she lowered her saber and gaped at the giant squid. It smiled at her, or at least it looked like it was smiling and said "Welcome little pirate girl, do sit down, have some tea and biscuits won't you?" In lack of any better ideas the pirate princess sheathed her sword and sat down by the little table. Accepting the tea cup that was being offered to her. "I hope you won't be too disappointed when I tell you that there isn't any treasure here" the squid said. the pirate princess wrinkled her brow "why would I find a map in a bottle saying that there was one then?"The giant squid shrugged, or it would have shrugged if it had had any shoulders.
"It gets quite lonely in these caves and I didn't think anybody would come if I wrote a letter saying - giant squid in scary cave, looking for company!" She had to admit that he was right, it didn't sound very tempting. She was silent for a little while before saying "I'm glad I came though, these cakes are delicious and I don't find you scary at all."

(c)Illustration by Anita K. Olsen Støbakk

So the princess and Captain Crow drank tea, ate biscuits and had wonderful conversations about cooking recipes, adventures and treasure with the giant squid. In fact they talked for so long that it had become night outside the cave and the princess was afraid that the crew might be getting awfully worried. She and Captain Crow had to bid the squid farewell and leave, but they promised to return soon for more tea and cakes. "It's a pity that we didn't find any treasure" said Captain Crow as they began to row back to the ship. The pirate princess smiled and said "We may not have found gold and diamonds, but we did find a new friend. I think that's a pretty great treasure don't you?" Captain Crow had to agree.

The Final Warden by Thomas Cardin - Book Review

Tally ho mateys! I am back with a new book review and this time I'm reviewing "The Final Warden" by Thomas Cardin which is a self-published fantasy book. It is actually the first self - published book I've ever read because frankly I find that I'm quite skeptical to literature that hasn't been through the classical publishing process with several edits and all that jazz. Don't get me wrong I know that there is a lot of quality stuff out there in the self-publishing world, but there is a lot of trash out there too. I digress, over to the book at hand!

Cover art for the book

I really enjoyed the overall story and a lot of the concepts in this book . The whole idea of an unexpected hero appeals to me, maybe because I've been an underdog and have felt a little lost all my life despite my intelligence and my drive and so I feel I can identify myself with the main characters in such story lines. I also liked how the Dwarves were able to communicate with the spirit of the world amongst other things.
The main character Lorace doesn't know who he upon waking up on a strange shore although we as readers get a hint as to who he really is in a previous chapter. He is interesting and I felt empathy for him, and I found myself wanting to find out what happens to him as he gets tangled into politics and heroics. I will probably read the rest of the books in this series too, although I don't know when.

However, because there is an however sadly enough.There were things that brought my experience of this book down. I felt like the story rushed ahead a lot like the author was in a rush to get to the juicy parts of the story. I really just felt like there was a lack of detail and in depth when it came to interactions between some of the characters. Cardin could have slowed down the pace a little bit, but of course that is just my own personal opinion.

There were also quite a few grammatical errors that kept popping up unfortunately, and if you know me you will know that it one of my pet peeves. It really grinds my gears and totally ruins my reading experience so it took a while before I was able to look past it and concentrate on the story that was being told.

I also think that chapter 1 and 2 might deserve to be slightly re-written or at least edited a little as I found them a bit difficult to get through because the language was a bit jumbled and messy.

The conclusion is that the book is worth reading, and deserves a fair chance. The passion of the author is very evident as you read through it and that alone makes it worth the while even though it was a somewhat mixed experience.

(c) Anita K. Olsen Støbakk

Cheers Mateys!

Anita, The Literary Pirate.

New Blog Header!

Yeah, well so I guess the heading says it all. I designed and drew a new unique and slightly spunkier header for the blog. I hope you like it! I think it is important to have something that sets you apart from the vast ocean of literary blogs out there and what better way of doing that than personalizing the blog with my own art!

(c) Anita K. Olsen Støbakk

On a different note here's an update on how the reading prosject is going so far.

Basically it all went great until April hit and everything came to a screeching halt. I got diagnosed with anxiety and started taking meds to help me with the symptoms and the stressful feelings I was dealing with all the time. Let's just say that getting used to these meds was quite the ordeal and has effectively put me out of commission as far as reading goes because I'm having trouble focusing. Hopefully I'll be back on track soon, and if I'm not I'll just have to convince myself that it's OK even though the perfectionist inside me is screaming and banging her head against a hard surface at the mere though of it....which is probably one of the reasons why I'm medicated in the first place. I suffer from the good girl issue, I set to high expectations to myself and every time I fail or convince myself that I'm doing something wrong I will obsess over it and sometimes it leads to anxiety attacks. Have no fear dear readers, I am currently going to cognitive therapy so I'll be ship shape again!

Keep your good eyes peeled through your looking glasses for the next upcoming book review!

Cheers mateys!
Anita, the literary pirate.

On/Off - Some new pirate poetry

Well as some of my followers might know I have recently joined the masses of mentally plagued and medicated little girls. Therefore I have not been capable of reading or writing much as of late. Don't feel sad however, I'm still here and today I have a delectable little treat for all of you. It is a brand spanking new poem I have written that I hope you will enjoy. Three guesses what it's about? Seriously what do you think is the intent behind my words?

Leave your cleverly crafted theories in the comment section!


On/Off

I can be charming like Cleopatra
brave like Joan of Arc
passionate like Marie Curie
and my smile can break your heart

And as if that was not enough
there are a million things you
still don't know about me..yes
I'm a tasty little cream puff
made up of all the right stuff

I can be artistic like Marie Antoinette
free like Amelia Earhart
dedicated like Florence Nightingale
my personality is state of the art

Oh, and did I mention my
consuming mental illness?
I'm sorry dear was that too much
forget my indiscretion we wouldn't
want you to get the wrong impression...

(c) Anita K. Olsen Stoebakk

Cheers mateys,
Anita, the literary pirate.

Boneshaker by Cherie Priest - Book review

I wasn't really sure if I would like Boneshaker when I first started the book. I had never read anything by Cherie Priest before and I had not read a proper Steampunk novel before either (even though I love Steampunk in general). I'm usually more into classic epic fantasy writers like David Eddings, Terry Brooks and Raymond E. Feist. I very often have a problem with more modern authors, what can I say, I'm an old fashioned gal...well, sort of.

So with a skeptical mind I delved into the story of Briar Wilkes and her son Zeke and was pleasantly surprised. The concept of the blight gas-affected and walled in town of Seattle sets a grim and exciting backdrop for the adventure. Briar lives a hard life hardly getting by with the money she earns from her job.
 Her deceased husband  Leviticus Blue was responsible for unleashing the blight gas that has turned Seattle into a ghost town filled with shambling undead things. Her son keeps asking questions about his father and his grandfather and Briar doesn''t know how to handle it. When Zeke heads into Seattle to find answers to his questions Briar has no choice but to follow him in there on a mad dash quest to get him back.

After reading this book I found that Priest has written characters that I actually care about (This is one of my Litmus tests, if I don't care about the characters it's not a good book). I found myself nervously reading on at times just to make sure that the characters survived whenever they were in danger. At some points I thought I could predict the next twist in the story, but most of the time I was actually surprised about where things ended up. I realize that Priest has taken some liberties with historical facts in this book, but the world feels very real and believable to me, and the people that inhabit it are complex and flawed, just the way I like it!
The language of the book is very good and the dialogs between the characters doesn't seem artificial and bland like they sometimes do in fiction.

Bottom line, I would highly recommend this book if you're into Steampunk, dysfunctional relationships and Zombie afflictions!
I'm definitely going to read the rest of the series at some point, when I have cleared a few more titles of my reading list. So many books, so little time you know.

(c) Anita K. Olsen Støbakk

The Liebster award 2013

So apparently I have received a nomination for the Liebster award for this very blog. Color me surprised! I received it from Erren Grey Wolf, so thank you very much to you for the nomination!

So according to the rules I have to answer 11 questions given to me by the blogger that nominated me and then I have to nominate 11 other bloggers for this award and give them some new questions to answer. So far so good.

Below are my answers to the 11 questions I received from Erren.


1. What is your favourite book?
Oh wow, such a hard question, It's like asking a mother to pick her favorite child. I think that if I had to choose it would be Magician Apprentice by Raymond E. Feist just because it was one of the first fantasy books I ever read and it really made me fall in love with the Fantasy genre.

2. What can you do to change the world?
I recycle my trash and I don't drive a car and I like to think I do my bit for the environment. Most importantly of all though I try to be kind and considerate and treat everybody around me with respect.

3. What was the last kind thing that you did?
I offered to help a lady in a wheel chair up a steep and icy hill.

4. Why did you decide to create a blog?
I decided to create a blog because I love writing and reading and I wanted to share that passion with the world. It also gave me a great excuse to draw cute pirate girls ;)

5. What is your favourite character in any book?
This is a tough one too, there are so many characters that I love. I think maybe Arya Stark and Daenerys Targaryen from A Game of Thrones are tied for that title.

6. If you had a superpower, which would it be?
I can never decide which super power I want most, but being able to manipulate fire would be really cool, either that or being able to teleport.

7. What is your favourite genre?
Hands down, it's Fantasy!

8. What is your favourite place to visit?
My old hometown, because that's where my mopther lives.

9. Have you written a book and, if so, what is the title?
I've never actually finished a book, but I'm currently working on one and the title is a secret! ;)

10. Do you like tea? If so, which is your favourite?Earl Grey with lots of sugar and milk (I love tea).


11. Describe a perfect day for you.
My perfect day includes sleeping in, reading a good book, going to the movies or seeing a show,
eating a great dinner and a couple of hours of tabletop rpg before cuddling up with my husband on the sofa



And here are my 11 nominations for the Liebster blog award!

1. http://furmanportfolio.blogspot.no/
2. http://doodlepod.blogspot.no/
3. http://schritsh.blogspot.no/
4. http://colorsofjeami.blogspot.no/
5. HippieFreak Beads
6. Barbra Briggs Designs
7. colourmecupcake
8. http://vinter-illustration.blogspot.com/
9. http://crowli.blogg.no/
10. http://thedrawer.blogg.no/
11. http://monstercat.blogg.no/

Puh, that took a while, but now I'm finished :p

Cheers Mateys!
Anita, the literary pirate.

A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin - Book Review

Two out of five is not bad considering it's only March, I'm currently working my way through A Storm of Swords, but that is a tale for a later post. The tale at hand is of course A Clash of Kings, the second book in the "Song of Ice and Fire" series. Be ye warned, this post might be a little spoilery if you haven't seen the tv show or read the books!

A Clash of Kings mainly revolves around the feud of the five newly risen kings of Westeros. Stannis Baratheon, Renly Baratheon, and Joffrey Baratheon all want to rule from Kings Landing. Robb Stark is declared King in the North and demands that the north be subject to the southern king no longer. Balon Greyjoy declares himself king of  the Iron Islands and sends his son Theon and his daughter Asha to pillage and conquer along the coast in the north. While all this war and turmoil is raging we follow characters through their very own big and small losses and victories.

As in the first book everything that happens is told and seen through the eyes of POV characters. In this book we follow:

Prologue: Maester Cressen, maester at Dragonstone.

Tyrion Lannister - Acts as hand, and tries to secure Kings Landing's defenses before they are attacked by either Stannis or Renly

Lady Catelyn Stark - Follows the army of her son Robb and struggles to come to terms with the loss of her husband and the fact that her daughters are being held captive at Kings Landing.

Ser Davos Seaworth - A former smuggler now sworn to Stannis Baratheon struggles with his faith and his allegiance as he sees the red pristess Melisandre work her terryfying shadow magic to further Stannis Baratheons claim to the Iron Throne.

Sansa Stark - She spends every day in fear of Joffrey and rejoices when she thinks she will be allowed to leave the castle when Joffrey takes a new bride in Margaery Tyrell. She also continues to develop her strange relationship to the hound.

Arya Stark - Arya hides herself under many names trying to avoid detection from her fathers enemies. She meets a mysterious man called Jaqen H'ghar who promises to kill three people in her name as a service for having saved his life and the lives of two other criminals.

Bran Stark - Bran finds new friends in Jojen and Meera and they help him discover the source of his wolf dreams.

Jon Snow - Jon and the rest of the night's watch have travelled far into the northern wilds in search of Benjen Stark and the other missing brothers of the watch.

Theon Greyjoy - In desperate need of approval from his father Theon turns his back on Robb and storms Winterfell with only 30 men, taking Bran and Rickon as his prisoners.

 Daenerys Targaryen - Daenerys leads what is left of her Khalasar through the red waste to Qarth, a large trading city where she and her dragons become the talk of the town. She thinks she has found an ally in one of the merchants of Qarth, but that alliance fails her and she ventures to the house of the undying in search of aid.

Now let's get down to my opinions shall we? I of course loved loved loved the first book in the series and the second installment doesn't disappoint either. It is just as detailed, just as gritty and just as believable as "A Game of Thrones". The biggest difference is that the pace has slowed down somewhat in this book. Things slowly reach a boiling point in Kings Landing as Stannis attacks but is beaten back by Tyrions well thought out defensive tactics. Daenerys finally finds a ship that will take her away from Qarth, Arya makes her first kill and Jon Snow is brought face to face with the wildlings of the north and his own sense of honor. It doesn't really bother me that things develop slowly because I'm honestly more interested in the characters than in the greater political schemes.

By now I have a clear opinion of who my favorite characters are and I feel excited every time I get to read about Arya, Sansa, Tyrion and Daenerys. They are the characters I feel connected to and if one of them dies I think I might actually get a little heartsick.

I have also developed quite an amount of hatred for some of the characters as well. I can't stand Cersei and Joffrey because they are, well evil. Theons betrayal of Robb and his egotistical and cowardly actions thereafter really turned me of. And to be completely honest, Rickon Stark is a spoiled and horrible little shit. I know he's only a small confused child, but I can't stand him.

I usually measure the greatness of a book by how much it makes me feel one way or the other, and I have to say that this series makes me feel a whole lot of everything. Happiness, sadness, anger, hatred, disappointment, excitement and wonder. That alone is enough to make it great in my opinion, but the way the books are written, the language itself and the amount of world building that has gone into it all is just tremendous and makes it work on every level.

(c) Anita K. Olsen Støbakk

I just can't wait to learn what happens next!


Cheers Mateys!
Anita, the literary pirate.

The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien - Book Review

I read this book in January this year, well actually I re-read it. I read it for the first time about 10 or 12 years ago I think. It was during my obsession with Lord of the Rings and anything Tolkien. The reason why I chose to read it again is as follows:

I went to see the Hobbit at one of my local cinemas a week or two after it's opening date with my husband. (I don't like pushy crowds, so I rarely attend premieres unless I'm dying to see a movie). Point and case being that I didn't quite agree with it. I had some trouble remembering a lot of the details from the story so it was difficult to judge the contents of the movie, but I remembered enough to feel almost a little offended at all the extra stuff they had jammed into the the movie (Radagast and his ridiculous bunny sleigh being one of those things). It made me feel like I had to read the book again to make sure that I wasn't getting worked up over nothing.

The Sword and Laser Book Club that I am a member of was also having the Hobbit as their book pick for January 2013 so I figured I might as well read it and satisfy my own curiosity while fulfilling my pledge to read 30 books or more this year. So I did, and this is my verdict!

It's the hobbit...It's a classic, badmouthing it feels a bit like swearing in church (if I went to church that is).
I have to admit that The Hobbit is not the most riveting book I have ever read, I find it to be quite charming at times but it was harder to get through it than it was to get through the Lord of The Rings even though The Hobbit is a tiny book.

Tolkien always brings forth nostalgia in me, his books remind me of my childhood and magic and discovery.
I remember really liking the Hobbit when I read it the first time, but now I feel like the descriptions are a bit vague, and I fail to become emotionally invested with the characters (usually that is not a problem for me). Gandalf is portrayed as quite the jerk, and the elves seem silly to me. It might be because this was meant to be a children's book or maybe I have just outgrown it. Still there is something else nagging at me. It just does not seem to fit with the rest of his universe that is represented in Silmarillion or LotR. However I won't linger over my own feelings of slight disappointment, and get down to the story itself.

The story of the Hobbit is widely known so I won't have to tell most of you what it is all about. The dwarves need a master burglar to help them on their journey to the Lonely Mountain to take back their home from Smaug the dragon. Gandalf convinces them that Bilbo is the Hobbit for the job even though Bilbo himself does not want to be part of this adventure at all. In the end he joins them and they travel to Rivendell to see the elves, they encounter Goblins and Hobgoblins and eagles and trolls and a shape shifting man called Beorn before they even get to lonely mountain. When they finally reach Lonely mountain they have no idea of how to deal with Smaug, but as he leaves the mountain one day the problem is solved for them as Smaug is killed by a man from a nearby village he chose to attack. Fter that a great battle is fought at the Lonely mountain as the villagers blame the dwarves for having driven Smaug from the mountain. They are also joined by elves from Fangorn forest if memory serves me right. Let's just say that drama and bloodshed ensues.

The story itself is interesting and a lot happens over the span of few pages which gives the book a good pace. It keeps you entertained and keeps you reading on. In a sense it is a truly epic story about an unlikely hero, which is one of the things I really love about the book. Being an underdog myself I have always cheered for the unlikely hero or the anti-hero. Bilbo was also the only character I even remotely liked this time around.

Sometimes I felt like the story was a bit rushed and that Tolkien could have taken more time to describe events or people more specifically. I just kept feeling like something was missing, I can't really put my finger on it. Maybe my view of the book has been muddled by the movie. There were just so many things I disliked about the movie that I kept analyzing the differences and looking for flaws in the two storylines. Maybe this book is meant to be read in a less aggressive and more laid back manner?

All in all the judgment is that the Literary Pirate is slightly torn, confused and stumped. I like the book, and I don't like it. I have fond memories smudged by present resentment.....hmmm tough one...Any opinions from you scallywags out there?

(c) Anita Olsen Støbakk

Cheers Mateys,

Anita, the literary pirate